I'm going back to Oklahoma today to visit my family. I have lived in California now for four years and I still refer to Oklahoma as home. I suppose it will always be so.

"Home Sick"

I saw my father today.

Looked him in the face and stared deep into his eyes.

I turned to him my back

upon saying our goodbye's.

My mother, she left early,

for her tears she could not hide.

We need strength in times of darkness

and weakness is to cry.

Attempting to re-define

this abstract word that we call home.

There's one for me a thousand miles away

but can I create my own?

Foreign to this land.

Detached from the one's I know.

Questioning my decisions,

Decisions to stay or to go.

All I have is hope

and even that is running thin.

With a nervous hand and twitching eye

depression crawls through my skin.

Unsure of where I'm at

or where I ought to be.

Knowing only that I'm alone,

separate from family.

Sick from separation,

my stomach turns and growls.

I hunger for connection.

My stubborn mind is proud.

So I remain in dark allies

with one eye always looking back.

Longing for the day

When I am re-attached.

© 2007 Matt Bohannon